32 Weeks: Celebrating!

So, I was officially 32 weeks on Saturday, which makes today more like 32 weeks + 5 days, but today is the day that matters. We had our follow up ultrasound this morning, and we got GREAT news... there is absolutely no sign of the cyst/tumor/whatever-the-hell-it-was that they saw before.

Yeah, I know right? No sign of it AT ALL. I couldn't hold back my tears of joy in the office... or now typing it out. We really wanted good news, but we weren't prepared for news this good. God is good.

My super sweet neighbor even brought us a bottle of champagne to celebrate!

It really hasn't started to sink in yet, but it is more real now than it was this morning. I think it may take the rest of the week to really settle in that this baby is healthy, and totally fine. I have waited 210 days to feel this relief and joy, let me tell you... it is sweet. Now I just can't wait to get that baby boy in my arms.

(Oh, he is definitely a boy.)

And a big boy too! According to the baby center weekly emails, the average baby is 3.75 pounds at this point. Today, they said he already weighs 4 pounds 10 ounces... a good pound above average. This is great news, because (don't hit me) I still have only gained about 20 pounds. I get crap for complaining about needing to gain weight, but it is a big source of stress. For some reason, during both of my pregnancies, I have had almost no appetite... like, if I wasn't careful, I could go until 3pm before feeling like I need to eat, and even then only a bowl of cereal really sounds appetizing. (Oh... cereal... yum...) So attempting to eat between 80-100 grams of protein a day is a really big challenge. And, subsequently, so is gaining weight. So it was a big relief to know that he is growing well, despite my food aversions.

belly watch: front & profile views

We took Tank with us to the appointment, and he did really well. He sat quietly playing "I spy with my little eye" while we waited, and watched the screen totally entranced during the entire appointment. We hung a calendar is his "office" to cross out the days until the due date, since weeks and months are still a little to abstract for him.

He is so excited to meet his little brother. He wouldn't stop kissing my belly when we got home, and we got a super sweet photo to add to the series:

More Valentines

Ok, so yesterday Tank took a THREE & A HALF HOUR NAP. I don't know what came over him, but I put him to sleep around 2:30, and he didn't wake until just after 6pm! Crazy man went to bed on time too.

But when he woke, he was in such a good mood, and he wanted to make valentines for my "tudents" just like I had, so I got my wish! We made valentines (again)!

He calls them his "heart monsters" and absolutely LOVES them... so much so, that we had to make an extra 3-4 just to keep :)

He also insisted that they talk back to him, which meant I had to do a silly voice for about an hour, but it was totally worth it. His are now hanging on the wall of his room, where he continues to talk to them!

My favorite part is that he "signed" the inside of every one with with his first initial, and then we stamped them together with a little heart stamp.

I passed out all my Valentines today (since I only teach on Mondays & Wednesday) and the "tudents" loved them just as much as I did :) I told you they were fabulous.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Our little Love Bird, sitting in a Teacup at Disneyland (December 2011)

So, I totally miss making valentine's. Tank's not quite old enough yet to make and exchange them with friends (maybe next year?) but we have tried. We are in the middle of making something for daddy, but I wanted to put up a quick post about the ones I made my students this year.

(I totally didn't have to, but I really wanted the excuse to make a big stack! Plus, my students are pretty freaking awesome.)

For my High Schoolers:

I kind of geeked out on these, and went a little overboard. I very intentionally included all of my loves into one little card... paper craft, sewing, gardening, and teaching. They say "plant the love of learning, and watch your knowledge grow. Happy Valentines Day!" I then stitched the printed note along with a piece of scrapbook paper on to some kraft paper, and then added a little mini packet of seeds. And yes, each one has a different seed variety on it, complete with hand written direction for planing on the back.  The seeds include: spinach, cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce mix, marigolds, sunflowers, wild flowers, globe amaranths, sunberries, and cilantro.

For my 6th Graders:

These were inspired by a pin I found from the teacher wife and are just a simple note saying "you make my heart glow!" with glow-stick (thankyouverymuch $1 bin at Michael's). 

Next year, hopefully Tank will be old enough to help make some- or at least old enough to scrawl his name on to some that I make for him to exchange in preschool! Can't wait. 

Messy Monday: A Revolution

So,  a month or a friend of mine had a brilliant post about the pieces of our lives that we share and those that we don't... Until we have to- in her case needing to drive a friend somewhere in her "very messy" car. (I think mine is worse.) So she started a blog series entitled Messy Monday where she shows (and encourages you to show) the parts of the photos that you cropped out.

Today is the perfect day for me to join in, as I have been making valentines for my students all afternoon, and I intend to post neatly cropped photos of the finished products tomorrow. Until then, I leave you with this... the current state of my dining room table:

Crafting supplies, a paper plate from last week (!), 3 weeks worth of mail to be sorted, a jar of not-so-yummy chocolate hazelnut butter, and an array of confiscated toys. 

On Bradley...

So, I mentioned in the previous post that we took a "Bradley Method" childbirth education class. And I wanted to follow that up with what I guess would be a review. Since having taken them, I have been asked many times if I would recommend them, so I guess there may be someone out there who's curious. This is for you.

Now, while I really, really, loved our instructor, I have very mixed feeling about the Bradley Method. (I would however, still recommend them in the absence of something better.) Yes, the Bradley method is one of the best ways to prepare for a natural birth- the methods, practice and exercises they use are really great. And I really loved the intense focus and importance that it put on the husbands role in labor. While I love my husband dearly, he's not always one to volunteer for tough or tiring work- especially if it lasts more than 8 hours and doesn't include beer. And even if it does end in a reasonable amount of time and include a good IPA, he's not the most... shall we say, happy (delightful? easygoing?) worker I've met.  (He blames it on years of being on a job site.) Being my first birth, I fully expected my labor to be in the 24 hour range, and wanted him to make it (in good spirits) to the end. I wanted him to think of it as a big important job for us both, and not just for me; so Bradley was a perfect choice in that respect.

However, I would be amiss if I didn't mention how freaking antiquated it all it. Seriously... there is a day in the class outline where the instructor is supposed to present all of the husbands with their "official birth coach" cards. WTF? Why would I want to be "coached" by someone who has never given (or ever will give) birth? In 1947 when Bradley developed his method, husbands weren't allowed into delivery rooms; only the laboring woman and hospital staff. Wanting to be a part of his wife's birth, he realized that there had to be a way around this stipulation, and the concept of "birthing coach" was born. Back in 1947, having a "coaching card" was a legitimate necessity for a husband to attend the birth of his child... but in 2012? It's just a joke. There were other things about the class that were just a ridiculous... like most of the movies shown were filmed in the 1960's. And while the information wasn't necessarily out of date or wrong, they certainly weren't the best or most informative movies available.

My mom used to teach Bradley Birth classes, but eventually let her certification lapse because she didn't like all of the stipulations that accompanied "the method". The standard class required each couple to purchase $25 worth of materials that she never used, because she always provided them with the most current information. While she appreciated most of what the method offered women, she felt she could offer more in a less regimented environment. I would guess that a lot of the independent childbirth educators out there who focus on natural birth have a similar story.

Anyway, that's my take on them. I have heard that there are some newer, worthwhile, post-Bradley options out there (Birthworks) that aren't quite as out-there as some of the others (HypnoBirthing), but being in a rural-ish area, we didn't have too many options. 

Ethics of Birth

In preparation for our upcoming birth, I have (finally) started to do some reading. Just before getting pregnant the first time, I started the DONA (Doulas of North America) certification program  which involved a few seminars, and a heavy reading list. It was something I had always wanted to do, but a good friends imminent birth had jump started me into. The timing was extremely beneficial, since I ended up getting pregnant 3 months after starting. By the time my friends birth came along, I had to be the most well read and least experienced doula in the world. I often reflect on her birth and think how lucky I was to be there... not for her sake, but for my own- I learned so much. It often feels very selfish of me to have attended! In addition to all the books I read, we took at 12 week Bradley Childbirth Education course (more on that to come).

This time around... not so much. Here I am, 30 weeks pregnant today; and I just cracked open a birth book for the first time last night.  And, if you can believe it, I am reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth for the first time. I am a little ashamed to admit it, but until now I hadn't read any Ina May. But, I read the first half of the book last night, so I'm fixing that promptly.

The first half of the book is a compilation of positive birth stories. In America, the idea of childbirth has been portrayed as a big, painful, medical event. And it's not just in the media... it's the way everyone from obstetricians to your great aunt talk about it... it's part of our collective consciousness. Ina May tries to undo that by sharing more than 40 unmedicated birth stories with strong, positive outcomes. They are not without complications, but all are beautiful examples of how strong the female body is. They are meant to empower women into believing in their bodies, and help start to change our idea of what "giving birth" entails. It has motivated me to reflect on my first birth and "rewrite" Tank's birth story.  (The first time around, it was all details, facts, and times. I never really reflected on what was happening internally. Look for a post soon. ;)

I have just started the second half of the book, which she titles "the essentials of birth" and it is more a collection of birthing wisdom than a how-to directive. She discusses the powers of: mind over body, movement, and utilizing gravity, along with giving an overall description of what normal, natural birth looks like. This last topic I find to be frightening... not that natural birth is frighting, but that most people have no idea what natural birth looks like. There are several named examples (and I am sure there are many more unnamed) in the book of obstetricians visiting The Farm to witness it for *the first time*... in all of their internships and training, they had never seen a normal, natural birth. Oi! (And we are expected to follow their "advice" while giving birth?!) My guess is that since there really isn't a "normal" progression for a normal, natural childbirth, it is too difficult to teach ;)

Anyway, all of this to say... I just read something that gave me the weirdest idea. And I had to share.

"The problem is that doctors today often assume that something mysterious and unidentified has gone wrong with labor or that the woman's body is somehow "inadequate" -- what I call the "woman's body as a lemon" assumption. For a variety of reasons, a lot of women have also come to believe that nature made a serious mistake with their bodies. This belief has become so strong in many that they give in to pharmaceutical or surgical treatments when patience and recognition of the normality and harmlessness of the situation would make for better health for them and their babies... Remember this, for this is as true as it gets: Your body is not a lemon. You are not a machine. The creator is not a careless mechanic. Human female bodies have the same potential to give birth well as aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elephants, moose, and water buffalo." (Gaskin, 2003)

So... having the background in science that I do... I started to wonder: What would happen if we "gifted" these animals- these aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elphants, moose, and water buffalo- with the same "gifts" we give laboring women: epidurals? Have any other mammals been given epidrurals in labor? It is cruel and unusual to "relieve" other animals of the pain of birth? What would the animal ethics board even do with this suggestion? If we see epidurals as a welcome relief for our own species, wouldn't your average horse also appreciate one?

Now, I am guessing that the breakdown of this would be in ability to communicate intelligently. You can't explain to an aardvark that it's OK that they have no control over the lower half of their bodies, it's an intentional effect that will wear off soon. You also can't really check the cervix of an aardvark to tell her when it's OK to push, and you certainly can't direct her pushing. Even just thinking these things sound totally cruel and ridiculous- but is it really? If it is what we do to help laboring human women, why does it seem just plain mean to do it to other mammals?

Anyway, that's just todays installment of "weird thoughts with Paige". If you have any insight to this, I would really love to hear it!

*************************
Gaskin, I. M. (2003). Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. (pp. 141-142). New York, NY: Bantam Dell.

Planning 30...

So, I'll be turning 30 this year, and Dino will come just in time for me to *hopefully* be able to fit into something nice... like, really nice. Like maybe, a wedding dress?

No. I'm not getting remarried. In fact, I'm not planning on ever getting married again. (I happen to really like the father of my children.) But, the problem with this is that, I bought a wedding dress that I really really liked, and I only got to wear it once. And despite the fact that if I was getting married again this year, I know I would pick an entirely different dress, I am still rather attached to mine, and I hate that all it does is take up a large percentage of the closet in our guest room.
It's something every bride laments after her wedding... that she won't ever get to wear her dress again. So, since turning 30 is a big deal, and people tend to let you be a little crazy when it comes to big life events, I am practically insisting that I get the party I have been planning in my head for the last 6 1/2 years... The Wedding Dress Party.

October 2005

Every party attendant must* wear what they wore to their own wedding, including the men. Now, we rented the suits that the guys wore when we got married, so Reb won't be able to wear the same suit. He has, however, been in no less than fourteen weddings to date, meaning that he has a large menagerie of suits he had to buy for other peoples weddings. Now, we definitely have friends who aren't married, and thats totally cool... they just have to wear something they wore as an attendant in a wedding (think 27 Dresses).

All Photos by Chris Humphreys Photography

Ok... since I have been talking about this idea, my girlfriends have voiced extreme enthusiasm- but also a little hesitation. One of them swears there is no way her dress will ever, ever fit again; two others paid really large sums of money to have their dresses cleaned and preserved, and aren't thrilled with the idea of opening a sealed box. So... that must* up there? is really more like a "must wear a wedding dress" rather than "must wear your own wedding dress". I guess as long as everyone is in white chiffon, silk or taffeta, it doesn't have to be their own wedding dress. I would be just a little sad OK with it if there were borrowed or bought dresses (goodwill always has a ton).

Not only do I think that this party sounds like a great idea because I get to wear my wedding dress but I also get to plan a little mini-wedding-ish party on the cheap. So... get ready. I am doubly decor inspired for this upcoming soirée because I just learned that the number one google search term that brings people to my blog is "mason jar centerpieces" (even though when I search that term, I find hide-nor-hair of my blog). Prepare for posts to follow with party decor inspiration!